It’s Press Freedom Day: let’s free some press

5 thoughts on “It’s Press Freedom Day: let’s free some press”

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3. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed,
   here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
   On Sears hair dryer:
   Do not use while sleeping.
   On a bag of Fritos:
   You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
   On a bar of Dial soap:
   Directions: Use like regular soap.
   Some Swanson frozen dinners:
   Serving suggestion: Defrost.
   On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
   Fits one head.
   On Tesco’s Tiramisu desert:
   Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
   On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
   Product will be hot after heating
   On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
   Do not iron clothes on body
   On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine
   Do not drive car or operate machinery
   On Nytol (a sleep aid):
   Warning: may cause drowsiness
   On a Korean kitchen knife:
   Warning keep out of children
   On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
   For indoor or outdoor use only.
   On a Japanese food processor:
   Not to be used for the other use
   On Sainsbury’s Peanuts
   Warning: contains nuts
   On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
   Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
   On a Swedish chain saw:
   Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
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4. Тo the Only girl.
   The young man approached the counter at which post-cards
   were being sold and asked: “Have you anything sentimental?”
   – “Here is a lovely one”,- answered the shop-girl: “look
   here – “to the only girl I ever loved”
   – “That’s fine, I’ll take six of those, please”.

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5. Lack of Detail.
   An operator is working with a computer. He gave a very
   complicated task to computer. Then after a very long time the
   computer gave an answer: “Yes”. Annoyed at the lack of detail
   the operator asked: “Yes what?” “Yes, sir”, – answered the
   computer.
   x x x
   A man was taken to a hospital after an accident. The
   doctor examined him and said, that he could go home the next
   day. However, in the morning, the doctor announced: “I think
   you’d better stay another day to see if something new turns up.
   I didn’t know how bad you were banged up until I read about the
   accident in the newspapers.
   x x x
   Once a famous Hollywood actress wrote to a famous wit and
   dramatist that it was a pity they were not the parents of a
   child. What a child it would have been: with her beauty and
   with his brains. Bernard Shaw, who was this dramatist,
   answered, that supposing the child would have been so unlucky
   to have his appearancee and her brains.
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