Can’t think of something clever for your FaceBook status? There’s an app for that.

 Oh jebus, this makes me so sad: an app that writes your Facebook status update for you. 

Have you ever wished that you had something pithy, "like"-worthy, and memorable to put as your Facebook status?  Don't have a razor-like wit, a way with words, or an interesting life?  Worry not, Feathermoor's new iPhone app "FaceBook Statuses that Your Friends Will Like" is here for you. (Yes, that is really the name of the app.)

Here's how they describe it:

This app contains status messages that will amuse your friends, and that will most surely get you a lot of "likes" from the prettiest girls (or guys) in your friends list. Don't believe me? A friend of mine, Dave, has been using these messages, and at least 2 people have told how creative and funny Dave has become recently! Well, good for you Dave, now how about telling them it was all due to this app?

… Remember, I update every two weeks, and you get 10-15 new status messages for your lifetime!

That's right, you can be funny on FaceBook… for life!  From reading several of the selections on the free version, it seems like its aimed for high schoolers.  Check out these gems:

• "Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it?" (what?)
• "You ever hear stories of people you have never seen before and you create an image of what they look like and when you finall see them you kid of get disappointed or weirded out that they don't look like what you imagined?"
• "When the teacher erases the board, but sloppily leaves a mark or two, I go insane on the inside."

Let me make another recommendation:

1. Go do something interesting
2. Describe it succinctly and vividly
3. Profit!

Le sigh.