My sis Cori and her boyfriend Fadhly got married recently, and we celebrated with a wonderful party at their home in Alameda last Saturday. I couldn't really decide on what an appropriate present to get for the couple who has everything. So I decided to put together a little dance piece for them I thought they would enjoy.
It was quite the personal challenge.
I've never choreographed something by myself, for myself, to perform for a specific person. Just finding a song that I thought was appropriate and might could work for a solo piece was tough. But when I heard Kimbra's "Settle Down" playing in one of my playlists, it just felt like the right song.
It was hard to come up with something that I thought I could create, practice and polish enough to show in just a few days time. It took four practices before I thought I had something decent to share.
But the far harder job was keeping my own personal doubts and anxieties in check. I'm by no means a natural performer, despite years and years of dance training and shows under my belt. Until recently, the thought of going into a cypher or a dance jam terrified me.
As I mentally prepared myself to perform, I reminded myself that it wasn't about perfection, it was about intention. I tried to focus on how happy I hoped the couple and the attendees would feel watching the piece. I reminded myself that I was my own worst critic, and that others' had no expectation of really anything.
That said, I hadn't told anyone I was going to do this, except the party DJ who had my song cued up. And even up to a few minutes before performing, in my head I kept asking myself, "Are you REALLY going to do this? Right now? In front of your friends and family?"
And then I fucking did it.
You can see that it went over pretty well. 😉
Thanks to Liz for recording and sharing this.
RELATED POST: Jam Circles and Confronting Your Inner Critic.